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Mel, The Garbage Man

The end of Mel, The Garbage Man.

The end of Mel, The Garbage Man.

As many of you already know, we have a little monster as a pet. She is the Rapture, the Apocalypse in canine form, but we love her dearly.

The thing is, it doesn’t matter what toy we give her, she will destroy it in a few minutes -usually less than five.

So, since we live in a country where customer service is very important, I decided to write a letter to the manufacturer of Dakota’s latest victim, Mel the Garbage Man. I have to confess that my intention was to receive a bunch of free toys, along with a nice letter complimenting me on my dog’s destructive behaviour.

Here they are -the letter and the reply:

“Hi there guys!

First of all, your toys are hilarious… I just love them!

But…

I’m afraid Mel, The Garbage Man, is not up to the task. Not even with the triple stitch thing going on. Please see the attached pictures. I guess my dog would fall into what you call the “real animal” category.

Do you have Mel in a Kevlar version? See, my sweet monster Dakota (a miniature Bull Terrier) really liked Mel. She wouldn’t leave him for a second, and when we tried to “save” Mel, she just went crazy barking, jumping, crying and running in circles. Yes, she’s a spoiled brat.

She LIKED Mel –and I guess she would love any of your toys as well.

Now, I’m in the middle of a dilemma…. She likes your toys, but I’m afraid I will be spending money for a toy that won’t last enough… And I don’t like the look on her face saying “I killed it.” Any suggestions? Maybe she could be one of your test dogs… And you could even implement the Dakota Guarantee; “If it survives Dakota, it will survive your dog.” You have my written permission, copyright and all.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys.

Thanks!

The response:

Hi there Johann,

Thanks for writing to us at Fat Cat! We’re glad to hear that your doggy has enjoyed her Garbage Man toy, and are sorry to hear that it last longer for her! Our toys are tested by many different breeds and sizes of dogs, and most find them to be incredibly durable! Our toys have even lasted for months in the grand jaws of bull mastiffs!

We strive to create the most durable and fun toys in the universe, but some dogs are just too darn smart for their own good! If she’s on to us…(figured out where the seams are) we recommend that you play one-on-one with her to help make the toy last longer.

If you’ve noticed that ser is going for the seams on all of her toys, I’d recommend giving her something to work on (like her favorite treat toy or chew toy) when she’s on her own, and reserve her stuffed toys and rings for when you’re around to supervise. Not all dogs have the same play styles and personalities (and that’s why we love ‘em) so we always say, knowing your dog goes a long way to helping their toys last longer. It sounds like you know your doggy well and have identified her play habits!

We value your input and welcome your comments and advice! It is taken seriously and truly helps us as we continue to strive to develop toys that are even stronger for doggies like yours!

As well, if we are ever in need of testers I will be sure to put Dakota on the top of our list.

Woof!

This is what I get from the letter:

1.- Dakota is more vicious than a Bull Mastiff.
2.- Dakota is “too darn smart for her own good.”
3.- I have to play with her if I want the toys to last longer.
4.- I have to give her my toes when she’s on her own -that’s her favorite chew toy- and give her toys only when I can play with her. In other words, I have to play with her all the time.
5.- “Not all dogs have the same play styles and personalities (and that’s why we love ‘em) so we always say, knowing your dog goes a long way to helping their toys last longer. It sounds like you know your doggy well and have identified her play habits!” No shit! Really?
6.- She has a good chance of becoming a toy tester… Maybe?
7.- I won’t be getting any freebies.

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